Divorce lawyers claim kids tend to benefit more from a divorce than rocky marriages

Unhappy parents should divorce because that is what their children want them to do, says divorce lawyers. Eight out of ten children think their parents should split up rather than try to patch up a rocky marriage, it was claimed. A report by family lawyers’ group Resolution said an overwhelming majority of young people felt it was ultimately better that their parents divorce rather than stay together unhappily. The call from the most influential organization of divorce lawyers drew a furious reaction from supporters of marriage, reports the DailyMail.
Former High Court family judge Sir Paul Coleridge called Resolution’s conclusions shocking and irresponsible. Sir Paul, head of the Marriage Foundation pressure group, said: ‘Every child who has been confronted by the specter of family breakdown wants above all else for their family to remain intact or to get back together.
‘Family breakdown has to be confronted for the real and lasting damage it does to children and not massaged away by superficially comforting and, from the family lawyers’ point of view, self-serving platitudes.’
The Resolution report was based on a survey of 514 people aged between 14 and 22 whose parents separated or divorced. They were asked if they thought that ‘despite my feelings at the time, I would rather my parents separated or divorced than stayed together if they were unhappy’. Sixty per cent said they strongly agreed, a further 22 per cent said they tended to agree. One in ten disagreed. Asked what advice they would give divorcing parents, one young person said: ‘Don’t stay together for a child’s sake, better to divorce than stay together for another few years and divorce on bad terms.’
Another suggests children will be upset at the time ‘but will often realise, later on, that it was for the best’. Jo Edwards, chairman of Resolution which represents 6,500 family lawyers in England and Wales, said: ‘This new information shows that, despite the common myth that it is better to stay together ‘‘for the sake of the kids’’, most children would sooner have their parents divorce rather than remain in an unhappy relationship.
'Being exposed to conflict and uncertainty about the future are most damaging for children, not the fact of divorce itself.’
A Government guide to divorce launched in 2012 noted: ‘It’s not the separation itself that can cause harm to your children, it’s the level of conflict that they see or hear between parents.’ But evidence from academic studies suggests the opposite.